I'm sure many of you are saying to your selves, well EWP only wears dresses, what does she care about jeans. This is true. Mostly because I love dresses and skirts, but a small portion of which is attributable to the fact that I can't buy jeans. It's not that I don't like them. It's not that I don't condone their use by other people. It's not that I don't want them. It's just that my far from skinny and tall body type is not built for jeans. Many a jeans-shopping excursion has ended in tears (and I never cry about shopping) or the purchase of a non-size issued item like a handbag. Just the thought of going jeans shopping makes me anxious and unsettled. I don't like it.
Due to this supreme fear of jeans shopping, I, until Saturday, only had 2 pairs of jeans: one hemmed for flats, and one hemmed for heels. But as I can spend hours wandering about the city on the weekend, the flats-hemmed jeans have gotten quite the workout and are nearing the end of their life. This meant I had to do what I hated most: go jeans shopping.
This time, however, I had a plan. I'd go to a place I love so I would be in my element and not scared or anxious: Bloomingdales. Check. Then I would find a lovely gay gentleman to do my bidding and tell me how hot and fierce I am: Joseph. Check. Then I would tell him the following: "I hate buying jeans. Like seriously. Pick out any pair of jeans you think would fit me and I will try them on. I promise you any pair that fits and you approve of, I will purchase." Check.
Joseph didn't believe me, but I swore to him that I would seriously buy any and all jeans that fit and he liked. After trying on over 30 pairs of jeans (this is not an exaggeration), I left with 4 pairs. I actually fit into more than that (hallelujah), but Joseph's discerning eye was only in love with 4, I was not allowed to buy ones he only merely liked. Oh Joseph, how I love thee. Too bad this purchase of 4 pairs of jeans means I won't be needing your services for at least 5 years. (Glory be, no more jeans shopping! At least until I need maternity jeans).
And as I have major mental blackouts when it comes to jeans, I honestly can't remember what 4 I bought. I am pretty sure that the 2 below are among the group.
Joe's Jeans, $158 
