If Only I Had My Camera...

I have said that to myself so many times. Something about living in a big city that lets you run into all sorts of... interesting get-ups. And oh how badly I wish it wouldn't be impolite to stop everything, gawk, grab my camera and take a picture. But I guess my mama raised me better than that. Though clearly I keep judging away on my cold-hearted EWP inside. I can't help it. It's what I do. Cookie Monster can't help but crave cookies (though I hear he eats carrots now, what's up with that??). EWP can't help but judge people's attire. Must be something to do with going to the school from Mean Girls.

Just yesterday I ran into two wonderful specimens of EWP-interest. And oh how I wish I had a camera.

1. We will call her "Big Love." Think Chloe Sevigny on Big Love, but not anywhere near as cute, and much much older.
I swear she even had the same hairstyle and blue dress on yesterday. Actually her blue dress was not as cute as the one above. Now I'm sure there are plenty of Mormons in Chicago, I just didn't realize we had any polygamous compound type Mormons. And while it's not really my place to judge anyone's religious choices (as far as their actions comport with the law and don't endanger children), it is very much my place to judge a person's clothing choices. It was all I could do to stop my jaw from dropping on the floor when we were on the elevator together and ask her where one shops for compound-chic dresses. But, like I said, I guess my mama raised me better than that.


2. The Drag Queen

Not two minutes after seeing "Big Love," I ran into another gem: the Drag Queen. Now, as most of you know, I love drag queens. LOVE LOVE LOVE. If there's a drag show or, better yet, a parade with drag queens, you know I'm there. And I live in a big city, where I've seen my fair share of drag queens, I was just a little confused why there was one walking in the business district at 5:30 pm holding a briefcase. Did s/he go to work dressed like that? S/he was walking with a man in a business suit, who I assumed was his/her colleague. I'm sure drag queens work, but I just imagined their outfit choices for the office would be a little more toned down.

And, well, there's always the possibility that the Drag Queen was in fact a woman. And if that's true, she seriously needs to rethink her clothing and makeup choices. I was about to ask her if she would be performing at The Baton this weekend, and who do you think would have been more embarassed, me or her? (hint: not me, I have no shame)

3. Speaking of no shame... I actually had a camera handy for this last one.

While out for my friend Jen's bday a couple weeks ago, I ran into what we called "Tinkerbell" the rest of the night. Her outfit was so beyond belief, I quickly grabbed my camera and took a picture for you, my faithful readership. Don't say I never did anything nice for you. Behold:

I just have no words. Except: you're welcome.