Zooey Deschanel - The dress has an odd stiffness, and I could be down with the one-shouldered look except the none strapped breast looks like it was surgically removed and the top of that dress is so low that I'm surprised we don't see nipple. Very unflattering.
Taylor Swift - I love Taylor Swift. She's adorable, seems really sweet, and I'm very angry about the Jonas Brothers breaking up with her over the phone (I attribute that to all of the Jo.Bros. b/c I can't tell them apart). In her first dress, Taylor looks effortlessly beautiful. It's understated, simple, but very pretty on her.
Taylor's second choice, however, is the complete opposite. There is nothing simple, understated or beautiful about this overworked, over embellished dress. I don't care for the design and I don't care for her hair.
Paula Abdul - My mother told me that if I don't have anything nice to say, then I shouldn't say anything at all. So...well... um... yeah...pretty-ish color?
Paris Hilton - Oh, Paris, didn't your stylist tell you when she handed this article of clothing to you that it's actually A SHIRT and not a dress?
Nikki Cox - Her lips seem a little less ridiculous than the last time we saw her. Or maybe I'm just distracted by her choosing to shop at Frederick's of Hollywood for her red carpet attire. I swear I saw that outfit when I stopped at Frederick's when I was in Vegas. Which I guess would make sense since she was on Vegas. But really, Nikki, don't raid your tv show's costume department when your show regularly has hookers and showgirls. Try raiding Gossip Girl's costume trailer next time.
I cannot even begin to discuss the sadness of this gold lamé dress because I am SO distracted by the fact that Nicole Kidman's face is incapable of expression. Tone back on the Botox.
Miley Cyrus - I feel too biased to objectively judge Mileys outfit choices because I hate her so much..... but I'm going to judge her anyway. First we got this strange dress that looks like she put a floral apron on a very short black dress. I just don't get it.
Then Miley changed into this number and chose to pose for every picture blowing air kisses. It is out of my love for you, dear readers, that I persevered and posted these pictures instead of throwing my laptop out the window as was my initial reaction after being airkissed by Miley 8 times. Hate Hate this dress. The floral apron dress is actually a better choice than this mess that has a bottom which has no relation to the top except it is also black, though a different material completely and therefore a different shade of black. Oh, she's just being Miley.
Leona Lewis - Pretty girl, super unflattering dress. The folds and ruffles maker her look wide and hippy and she's actually very thin. And I have no idea what is going on with the neck. Not a good choice.
Then Leona chose this sad, nude number which is so dull I keep falling asleep before making any sort of judgm.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
I can always count on Lisa Rinna for setting the standard for red carpet ridiculousness. Thank you for your dependability. And thank you for only flashing side and under boob, and not your brazilian this time.
It is a strange day indeed when I say that I actually kind of like what Kim Kardashian wore. Granted: a) her hair is too tight and severe, b) the dress is too short, and c) it'd look better on someone else. But still I like the idea of it. The neckline is kind of reminiscent of what Kate Beckinsale wore to the Golden Globes.
Jennifer Hudson has had an awful past few months. My heart breaks for her and the tragedy she has experienced. But to help her back to normal life, I am going to treat her like anyone else and say, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON WITH HER DRESS? I feel she is about to be strangled by the chest napkin she's wearing (also, I would worry about rubbing makeup off on it all night). And the cummerbund(? is that a cummberbund? I have no other words for it) may have been pieced together with duct tape. And I normally like a whimsically paired colored shoe, but what are those blue shoes doing? Oh, J.Hud, you know I love you, but why do you make me say these things? Luckily she redeemed herself later that night...
OMG SHE LOOKS BANGIN'! That dress hugs every sexy curve with just enough sparkle and bazoom-showing to make it fantastic and not ridiculous. Thank you, J. Hud.
I find it amusing that Gwyneth thought wearing a super sparkly, super short dress would distract from the fact she didn't put on makeup or brush her hair. Oh, Gwyneth, you're so crazy. Take a break from the cleanses and maybe you won't hallucinate and make bad dressing decisions anymore.
And, my former girl crush (I can only handle so many bad outfit choices before my love wanes), Carrie Underwood had another one of her ridiculous multi-outfit nights.
Then Miley changed into this number and chose to pose for every picture blowing air kisses. It is out of my love for you, dear readers, that I persevered and posted these pictures instead of throwing my laptop out the window as was my initial reaction after being airkissed by Miley 8 times. Hate Hate this dress. The floral apron dress is actually a better choice than this mess that has a bottom which has no relation to the top except it is also black, though a different material completely and therefore a different shade of black. Oh, she's just being Miley.
Leona Lewis - Pretty girl, super unflattering dress. The folds and ruffles maker her look wide and hippy and she's actually very thin. And I have no idea what is going on with the neck. Not a good choice.
Then Leona chose this sad, nude number which is so dull I keep falling asleep before making any sort of judgm.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
I can always count on Lisa Rinna for setting the standard for red carpet ridiculousness. Thank you for your dependability. And thank you for only flashing side and under boob, and not your brazilian this time.
It is a strange day indeed when I say that I actually kind of like what Kim Kardashian wore. Granted: a) her hair is too tight and severe, b) the dress is too short, and c) it'd look better on someone else. But still I like the idea of it. The neckline is kind of reminiscent of what Kate Beckinsale wore to the Golden Globes.
Jennifer Hudson has had an awful past few months. My heart breaks for her and the tragedy she has experienced. But to help her back to normal life, I am going to treat her like anyone else and say, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON WITH HER DRESS? I feel she is about to be strangled by the chest napkin she's wearing (also, I would worry about rubbing makeup off on it all night). And the cummerbund(? is that a cummberbund? I have no other words for it) may have been pieced together with duct tape. And I normally like a whimsically paired colored shoe, but what are those blue shoes doing? Oh, J.Hud, you know I love you, but why do you make me say these things? Luckily she redeemed herself later that night...
OMG SHE LOOKS BANGIN'! That dress hugs every sexy curve with just enough sparkle and bazoom-showing to make it fantastic and not ridiculous. Thank you, J. Hud.
I find it amusing that Gwyneth thought wearing a super sparkly, super short dress would distract from the fact she didn't put on makeup or brush her hair. Oh, Gwyneth, you're so crazy. Take a break from the cleanses and maybe you won't hallucinate and make bad dressing decisions anymore.
And, my former girl crush (I can only handle so many bad outfit choices before my love wanes), Carrie Underwood had another one of her ridiculous multi-outfit nights.
First up, a vampira meets Dolly Parton outfit. Hair= bad. Sleeves=bad. Hemline=too short. I jsut can't take it. My eyes! My eyes! Maybe the circles were meant to hypnotize us and make us believe it's pretty...
Then Miss Underwood tried her best to make me re-love her with this change up into great shiny hair, pretty dress, and stellar smile. Must.. resist... urge... to.. forgive...
Wow. Thanks for making it easy, Carrie. I'm not quite sure what's going on here. I didn't watch the Grammys, but I'm going to pretend that she performed and her performance involved flying over the audience, so, in fact, the harness is stunt-related and not actually outfit-related. But I still can't forgive the sleeves. Or the formal shorts-jumper with a sheer overlay.
Carrie's last ditch effort to win my affections back fell far short as this color is horrible, it's far too bubbly, and the center boob flower is confusing. But I do think I like the sheer sleeves...
Then Miss Underwood tried her best to make me re-love her with this change up into great shiny hair, pretty dress, and stellar smile. Must.. resist... urge... to.. forgive...
Wow. Thanks for making it easy, Carrie. I'm not quite sure what's going on here. I didn't watch the Grammys, but I'm going to pretend that she performed and her performance involved flying over the audience, so, in fact, the harness is stunt-related and not actually outfit-related. But I still can't forgive the sleeves. Or the formal shorts-jumper with a sheer overlay.
Carrie's last ditch effort to win my affections back fell far short as this color is horrible, it's far too bubbly, and the center boob flower is confusing. But I do think I like the sheer sleeves...Total score for the night: 1/4. D-
And we finish with one of my personal favorites... Bai Ling. She's purportedly an actress. I have no idea what she was in. Nor do I have a clue why she was invited to the Grammys. But what I do know is that she got all dressed up and wrapped her ladybits in a bow as a gift just for me. Ummm... thank you?
And we finish with one of my personal favorites... Bai Ling. She's purportedly an actress. I have no idea what she was in. Nor do I have a clue why she was invited to the Grammys. But what I do know is that she got all dressed up and wrapped her ladybits in a bow as a gift just for me. Ummm... thank you?
