Now for a non-clothing related topic dear to my heart: etiquette. It seems in these days propriety and properness have fallen to the wayside, with people wearing jeans to the theater and forgetting what a thank you card is. But I assure you good manners are always in style. Below on EWP's etiquette tips are just a few of the big items people should follow.
1. Thank yous
One should always send thank yous for gifts. My mother's rule, which I think is a good one, is that you should send out thank yous before you can use the gift. This ensures that your thank you notes are timely. Thank yous should be sent out shortly after receiving a gift; especially in this age of online shopping where the sender can't be sure you've really received the gift. And, yes, flowers don't generally require a thank you card, but it's good to give the sender a nice thank you phone call or e-mail to show your gratitude, and that they arrived. Some people seem to have let birthday and other thank yous lose priority, but it is an absolute requirement to send thank yous for all wedding gifts. It is really bad if no thank you call/card/e-mail has been sent and the sender has to check in with you to see if you've received the gift. So, bottom line, send thank yous. It's the right thing to do and buying stationery is really fun! Why not try these?
2. RSVPs
When invited to an event, always RSVP by the "RSVP by" date on the invitation, especially for weddings. If no such date is written, you should RSVP within two weeks of receiving the invitation. If a party hostess has to contact you for an rsvp because you failed to rsvp, frankly, it's rather rude (of you, not the hostess). A lot of times people don't respond because they don't want to say no even though they know they won't be attending. Don't think too much about it, the hosts will not take offense and would much rather know in a timely manner that you cannot attend - suck it up and respond.
3. Wedding and Shower Gifts
It is not required to send a gift to a shower you are not attending, but it is always appreciated. I operate under the rule to always send a gift to a shower I've been invited to. A good rule of thumb is to spend between $25-75 on a shower gift, depending on your budget and your closeness with the bride.
When invited to a wedding, however, one must always send a gift, regardless of whether you are able to attend or not. I know there's this rule being passed around that you have a year to send a gift, but waiting a year is far too long, especially if you attended the wedding. If you've had the enjoyment of their wedding, then you should promptly send a gift. You are also more likely to forget to send a gift altogether the longer you wait. A good rule of thumb is to spend $50-$150 for a wedding gift if attending on your own, depending on your budget and closeness with the couple. $50 is the absolute minimum to spend for a wedding gift as a single. When bringing a guest one should spend $100-200 depending on budget and closeness with the couple. I would err on the higher ends if you are in the wedding.
4. Hostess Gifts
When attending a dinner it's nice to bring wine, flowers, or a dish to pass. When staying with someone for any period of time, it's nice to send a thank you note after to thank the friend for her hospitality, or, depending on the length of time stayed (egs. crashing at a friend's family's place for a week on vacation) sending something bigger like flowers or taking the hosts to dinner on your last night are recommended. If someone is hosting a party for you, a small hostess gift is required, once again, flowers are always a good go to.
Now, EWP can't list every etiquette rule ever. But for further etiquette information, you must read the greatest etiquette tome of all time - Emily Post's Etiquette. This helpful book will tell you things like:
- How to rsvp when there is no rsvp card enclosed in a wedding invitation (write a personal note letting the hosts know whether you will be attending).
- How much to tip for spa services (15-20%) or other services like movers, bellhops, and cabs.
- That you can address a couple as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe Smith or Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, but not Mr. and Mrs. John D. Smith.
- Where that pesky salad fork goes.
- Wedding invitations should always be hand-addressed.
- And much much more...
Emily Post's Etiquette (with handy thumb index), $26.37xoxo,
