Now that I'm an old lady lawyer, I find it really hard to go out on Friday nights. Saturday night is great, as I'm rested after sleeping in Saturday morning. But Fridays are killer. But, thanks to some prodding from my friend Jen, I decided to change it up and actually put on clothes and leave the house Friday night and head to Metropolis, a fundraising event for young professionals benefitting some sort of family organization (I obviously was paying attention). I had been told by a woman on the board that this was "just a big party" and people show up wearing somewhere between sundress and going out top and pants. With this info, I decided to scrap my plan to wear this dress, as its extreme snugness (you can't tell from the picture, but this dress is tight) and the 5 inch heels that go with it would inhibit hours of dancing. I chose a summery printed dress (pictured above) that gave me enough movement to get my groove on.
Too bad, when I arrived, I quickly realized that the event was COCKTAIL ATTIRE. No one told me that! I'd even scoured the website for some indication of dress code, only to find none. I'm not one to ever underdress for an occasion, but, like Friday, it does happen by accident from time to time. I was really embarassed. And it didn't help me any that the 3 lovely gals from work I went with (pictured above) who also didn't get the cocktail attire memo all wore cute sheath dresses, making my crazy printed self feel even more ridiculous. Where was my sheath dress??? *shaking head*
I decided there was only one way to overcome my shame, bid on silent auction items and make fun of people even more inappropriately dressed than myself.
One of the auction items was 2 tickets to the Oprah Winfrey Show. Yes, those tickets are actually free, but are virtually impossible to get. I decided that the best way to make my life dream of going to see Oprah happen was to throw a bunch of money at it. So I walked over to the table and saw that I needed to bid $625. I decided to pretend to be a good wife for once and include my husband on this big financial decision. So I called him. "Honey, can I bid on Oprah tickets?" "How much are they?" Drats, he figured me out. "umm..... only $625." "No." Well, that didn't go as planned. So I hung up and bid anyway. Lucky for my marriage, I was soundly outbid. Phew.
I got the Digital SLR camera I've been dreaming of and decided not to take it with me to the event, lest I look like the event photographer. Turned out I really should have, as that would have been my cover to take pictures of all the ridiculous outfits in attendance.
1. The Jumpsuit.
Both Jen and I had the same reaction when we saw this number, "I've never seen a jumpsuit in real life." They keep showing up on red carpets, are all over magazines and websites, but I hadn't yet seen one in real life. That is until Friday.
I'm not sure how I feel about jumpsuits, but I know that a teal jumpsuit seems like a bad idea. 2. The Jeans.
This woman's jeans buttoned down the back, across the butt, and tied around the knee. They looked like those detachable camping pants that can turn into shorts. *shudder*
3. The Bottom.
This woman's tight little spandex number had a slit up the back. A very very high slit. A slit so high you actually saw buttcheek. And when she dropped down low while dancing, whoa did you get quite a looksie.
