The Golden Globes

Last night was the pre-cursor to the Oscars (the only award that matters), the Golden Globes. The Globes have a different vibe as it's a sit down get drunk-fest. The dresses aren't ever Oscar-worthy, but usually there's a lot of wowing going on. Last night, however, was not such a night. It seemed most people tried to play it safe with white/creams, blacks, and navys. This made it hard to come up with a best dressed list, but I've put my nose to the grindstone and have put together my lists for worst dressed, okay dressed, and best dressed. All the lists I've seen so far have disagreed completely, with people showing up on worst and best dressed lists. So feel free to disagree with any of my choices.

WORST DRESSED

I just didn't like Sandra Bullock's get up. The soft layers on top didn't match the crinkly frill on the bottom.

One word: awful. Her hair, her facial expression, the bizarre nude bustier. Renee Zelweger just had it all wrong last night.

You know you have a bad dress when my immediate first reaction was, "I didn't know Rachel Griffiths was pregnant." Well, she's not. Ouch. And why on earth does it look like she pulled the dress out of the bottom of the laundry hamper? It's called a steamer. Look into it.

We all know I hate Miley Cyrus and her penchant for age-inappropriate clothing. Last night's ensemble was no exception as she grabbed a push-up bra and put her girls on display. What kind of awful parents does this girl have? She's sixteen and has a twenty year old boyfriend. I don't approve.

Megan Fox is seriously one of the most smoking hot actresses around. I think my brain would just explode if she and Angelina Jolie did a movie together. So it's really awful when someone that hot looks that bad. The ugly tattoo really takes away from anything she put on, but that dress is just ugly. No more explanation needed.

No, Marisa Tomei, it is not dress-like-a-pirate day.

I actually like the silhouette of this dress, but the blue animal print is just not a look I could get behind. But it's not the worst thing I've seen Maggie Gyllenhaal wear, so at least there's that.

I get sad when people confuse Laura Dern (above) with Laura Linney (best dressed below) because, well, look at that hot mess above.

The Golden Globes is not the time to dress up like slutty Barbie, Jessica Capshaw.

J.Lo somehow made it on some best dressed lists I saw but I adamently believe she belongs on the worst dressed list in that strange crushed velour-looking getup. It was especially an egregious outfit choice because of all the fat rolls the low cut back was showing off. I by no means am saying he's overweight, but if you've had a couple kids and aren't in your top physical shape, then maybe cut down to there backless dress is not the way to go.

I love Heidi Klum. I think she's fun and positively adorable. But this strange polka dot number was not doing her figure any favors and I'm pretty sure I saw it in the juniors department at Belk.

I'm all for age appropriate clothing, but just because you're old, Glenn Close, does not mean that you're dead. Take a lesson from Helen Mirren circa Globes 2007 when she won for The Queen. Now there was one hot older lady.

Normally I would frown on mustard as a red carpet look, but it's actually a good color for Freida Pinto, the cut of the dress however is terrible. It's slouchy, it's wrinkly. It's like she was taking dress lessons from the hot mess below.

I don't remember the last time I saw Cameron Diaz with what loked like washed hair, but it would be nice to see at least for an awards show. The dress is also a hot mess as it cuts into her left breast and scrunches across her knees and up to her right hip. I don't get it.

Why was Brooke Burke even invited to this thing? Both her dress and hair are overworked. Less is more, Brooke.

Blake Lively is a gorgeous girl. She is also super thin. So why is she wearing a dress two sizes too small for her that makes her slouch and look like she has a big pooch?

This dress isn't offensive just so much as just boring. And I hate Annna Paquin and CANNOT believe she got a Golden Globe for her terrible acting on TrueBlood. I'm angry.

Another boring choice from Angelina. It looks just like her boring slitted cream dress from the Critics Choice Awards. Come on, you're even nominated, show us some color.

Taraji P. Henson seems like a cute girl, but I really hate this black and brown concoction.

UNDECIDED/OKAY DRESSED

Amanda Seyfried is super cute, as is this dress, the choice of color, however, totally washes her out.

Meh.

I like the idea of this dress Christina Applegate is wearing, but it somehow reminds me of Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Maybe she'll wear a Little Mermaid-inspired number for the Oscars.

Every time I look at Debra Messing's dress I change my mind. What do you think of it?

My immediate reaction was that Drew looked awful, but then I tried to ignore her AWFUL AWFUL (it's sooo awful) hair, and looked at the dress. And I think it's soft and rather pretty, no?

I almost really really like this dress Eva Mendes wore. I just can't get over the towel? drapes? napkin from lunch? stuck to her hip.

Hayden's dress is cute enough, I just don't approve of the bust smushing.

Jennifer Morrison looks happy and sweet, and I feel bad her engagement broke off, but I'm pretty sure her dress only cost $50, but it's a super cute $50 dress.

Love the silhouette, hate the fabric.

Belting looks too casual for the red carpet, and the bust doesn't seem to be the right size, but otherwise a very pretty dress. I do love the train.

Kate is really pretty all the time. And this dress fits her really well. I even like the neckline. It's just so boring.

Salma Hayek is normally a knockout, but yet another boring dress on the red carpet :(

BEST DRESSED

I really like Elizabeth Banks' dress, I know I'll have dissention on this, but I like it. It's feminine, she looks soft and pretty. So there.

Awards shows are all about drama, and Eva Longoria Parker's dress is definitely dramatic. Love the color. Love the train. LOVE.

Evan Rachel Wood usually looks like a French prostitute, but she actually looked unbespackled with 8 tubs of makeup and the dress was interesting but not too much.

Boring color, but I do like the cut of this frilly and feminine dress.

Jenna Fischer gets kudos for daring to wear a print. And double kudos for not choosing an animal print.

I will have sex dreams involving this dress. I LOVE IT. So dramatic, so sexy, and the white is just perfect.

Laura Linney had what I thought was the best dress of the night. She looked great and so happy and fresh.

Melissa George has been mixing it up on Grey's, and last night she mixed it up on the red carpet. I like the bold impression this dress makes with its unconventional bow.

I know people are definitely going to disagree with me on this one. But Olivia Wilde was one of the few who wore a super flowy big ballgown, and I appreciate that. And the ruffly bottom and bubble gum pink just brings out the inner 9 year old girl in me who so desperately wants to dress up like a princess.

I SOO hate to admit this, but ugly Rumer Willis wore one of my favorite dresses of the night. I love this dress. Too bad it's on Rumer :(

This dress is super fun and super hot. The only problem is it's definitely not flattering from eveyr angle on the curvy America Ferrera.

Now bring on the Oscars!